AWC Blog

It is often difficult to stay focussed when you write. Already, as I write this initial draft, I am tempted to go in all sorts of different directions. How should I demonstrate the way a student might deviate from their original aim? Every writer has a tendency, in early drafts, to veer off on a tangential journey, arriving far from the original objective.

Let us examine an academic article and see how the writer approaches the opening paragraph. As we do, let us bear in mind the number of drafts this piece has been subjected to and also the experience of the author, or authors in this case. I say this so that we do not become too intimidated. Rather, I wish to show that focussing your writing is something a competent student can certainly achieve with some practice.

Beissinger, Steven R. and  Bucher Enrique H. ’Can Parrots Be Conserved Through Sustainable Harvesting?’.BioScience  42.30 (1992): 164-173.

Let us see  how the writers approach their initial paragraph of information.

They describe the problem: neotropical parrots are now a threatened species of bird  due to the destruction of their natural habitat and the international parrot trade. Then they proceed to the solution of the problem: ‘We propose a conservative model for harvesting parrot nestlings that requires the exploiter to make an environmental investment.’

The authors will then give us more details to convince us that they are right and that their model is the best way forward. The next sentences declare that sustainable harvesting without continuing the decimation of the species is achievable, but only with specific quotas based on the site concerned. They remind the reader of the low likelihood of ‘overharvesting’, the ease of quota management and the protection of the parrots’ habitat.

To balance their argument they accept difficulties are prevalent in the scheme. They conclude by outlining their approach, exploring  the ‘biological potential for applying sustained yield approaches to parrots’ and taking account of the social cultural  and political conditions that must be controlled, if their sustained harvest plan is to be successful.

While not perfect, this  is a good example of clear, concise and coherent writing. The authors set out their aims from the first words. They do not deviate from the issue of parrot harvesting. Someone, like myself, who knew nothing of the subject, is somewhat more knowledgeable about it after reading only two hundred words. Note how the article does not waste time setting out grand generalised statements about parrots. Nowhere do we find emotive urgency in these words. We find only facts and the facts which concern the authors in this work.

This is the essence of focussing your academic essay. Stay on the point in the opening introduction. Every sentence in the opening words, as in the example, must relate to the topic or thesis statement. The thesis statement for this might be: ‘An immediate halt to the international trade of parrots is urgently needed to reverse the declines of many species, but habitat conservation is also required’. If you can isolate your thesis statement in your introduction, it should be straightforward to check if all of your other opening declarations relate to the topic you are approaching.

Any published article will have these elements contributing to the author’s objectives. It is something which looks deceptively simple, but actually takes quite some practice. However, it is certainly achievable with a systematic approach, as we have seen.

Martin Keaveney

NUI Galway

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